Fear Twists the Arm and Demands Obedience

I know that as soon as I let fear motivate what I do then I will be influenced by the destructive forces that exist in my own neighborhood.

This small city where I live has a drug problem. A small example is where one person died of an overdose in Wal-Mart’s parking lot with children in the backseat. It’s happening routinely. Apparently, they are going about their normal daily routines and drug use is part of that. Gun possession is also part of the daily normal routine. A huge percentage of residents carries weapons, some have concealed carry license, and some do not! Violence is routine with and without guns. In that environment, I’m content in my spiritual solitude, or maybe isolation is a better word. Routinely, I feel intimidated to be a part of that community. My self-esteem is routinely beat up on and I’m constantly shamed and belittled over something. Apparently, I’m the problem in need of some type of conversion therapy. I’m not going to allow fear and intimidation to twist my arm to force my conversion to something undesirable to me. Because of Jesus I am avoiding the carnage that is all around me, “A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.” Psalms 91:7

I don’t allow fear to twist my arm and it has nothing to do with me being a brave person. It has to do with avoiding a way of life that is as much a dead-end as being isolated from a functional society. It’s like being between a “rock and a hard place”. between the fear that drives me into worldly trends or the necessity that drives me to Jesus, I choose Jesus. Jesus restores my soul as I sit in isolation on my recliner, which is better than the self-destruction found in the welcome of the alternative social life. “He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” Psalms 23:3-4

I’ve said before that I don’t know how many more health care appointments I can survive. The after pains and the botched procedures make me think of it as mental, emotional, and physical torture. It’s obviously some type of coercion to move me out of the spiritual frame of mind into the carnal frame of mind. I feel unsafe riding my bicycle to the store because cars don’t seem to notice me. In public places I’m surrounded by the cast of a “Death Race” movie. Obviously, I have no worth to anyone in my present spiritual state of mind. I believe the pain, fear, and humiliation are being used to twist my arm to demand obedience to something destructive. Through it all I take Peter’s words to heart, “Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. “Once you had no identity as a people; now you are God’s people. Once you received no mercy; now you have received God’s mercy.” 1 Pete 2:10-11